Financial advice with Dr. Diesel™
We believe in Tech Support and so over the years have published roughly 140 Tech Tips. Dr Diesel usually writes them on Sunday mornings while things are quiet. They have dealt with various technical problems with Perkins, Deutz, Continental and John Deere engines as well as Twin Disc® and Rockford power takeoffs and more. But, this one is different. Its about money.
People email us and call us for tech help almost 24/7 365 days a year. After all, we’ve been in the engine business for over 97 years and they have come to trust our answers. But we got a call this past Friday afternoon, that was a bit unusual. Frankly, it stumped us. The caller said that over the years we’ve been very responsive to his questions about how to maintain his Perkins and Deutz powered equipment and he appreciated it. He said we always had good, solid, common sense answers. So, he said, “Since you guys seem to have all the answers, let me ask you this. What should I do now with my money?”
This took our Dr Diesel by surprise. Sure, he knows a little bit about a lot of different engine issues, mainly Perkins, Deutz and Deere, but money? After all, Mrs. Diesel handles the money in the family and doles it out to Dr Diesel only after an hour of intense begging. So, he pondered the question. Lets see, he thought, what alternatives does this guy have? Invest in equities? No, stocks are tumbling head over heels faster than a Duetz diesel powered mine car going downhill. Well, how about bonds? After all, with US Treasuries you at least won’t lose any money. But, as of Friday 30 Day T Bills were paying 3 basis points. Now a basis point is only .001 and three basis points is only .003. So, if you went through all the hassle of buying a 30 day Treasury you would earn zero interest for the privilege.
Dr Diesel thought some more and then came up with a solution. He told the caller “Plastic!”. The caller said, whaddya mean, plastic? Dr Diesel said, “Look everyone is running away from risk faster than a Perkins turbo LJ engine with a runaway turbo. They’re buying treasuries. As a result, because of this demand, the government doesn’t have to pay you any interest to borrow your money. Since they’re not going to pay you, why do it? Just get a six inch piece of PVC pipe, 12″ if you are really rolling in the clover, and put caps on each end. Then bury your money in your back yard. The PVC won’t rust like the coffee cans they used in the ’30s and it will save you the trouble of giving your money to the government and earning no interest!”
We promise that we will try to have Dr. Diesel™ focus more on Deutz and Perkins diesel engine issues in the coming weeks. But we hope this has brought a smile to your face in these difficult times.
Manufacturers names, symbols and numbers are for reference purposes only and do not imply manufacturing origin.
